the love of a Father can be well hidden

I loved my father, I don’t know how it happened really.

His name is Reyes and he is my step-father whom I hated for many years

That’s rejected/unrequited love turned inside out: hate.

It’s why that lil man satan dislikes God’s children. His love was rejected. There is love there but it’s well hidden under a sense of un-recipicated love: Love unreturned. (such a lie!)

I remember giving my step-father a chance or two. Giving him an opportunity in my mind to reciprocate my love and my effort to make peace with him. I never approved of him and told my mom so before her marrying him. She shoved it off as me not wanting ANYONE to replace our bond. THAT wasn’t it at all. He wasn’t the right fit and I lived my life in the shadows of their love. Not participating but being made to follow a foot step I never knew the beat of. We were so different and he wasn’t mentally or emotionally capable of loving as a dad. He too didn’t have a dad who showed him love.

So how can you show what you don’t know? He provided food and roof and that’s it. He still to this day provides that. That’s his love and I finally appreciate it. He finally sees value in me. He sees me as a daughter. I see him as a father. We are where we were supposed to be many moons ago. THAT’S MY MIRACLE! We return love to each other as a family. If it weren’t for Jesus opening the path to my Heavenly Papa, that would of been impossible.

I’m under no delusion that he is perfect. He may say something to upset my heart in the next few minutes but overall he loves me, he hugs me, and I see through these hugs that I’ve been searching for just that: to be loved as a daughter.  His hug today released a bondage of my heart and I could see how much his hugs were needed growing up.

I never received a heart filled hug from a man as a child. The first real hug came through men who wanted me sexually. Every hug after that has had a tone of sexuality I have no idea how to shake. I have searched high and low for the answer to this Father problem and that’s where I found Papa Heaven. He’s teaching me how to be a daughter. He’s showing me how HE is my father. I get to see Him in so many new ways and today I found him. I found Him in my daddy’s hug.

I used to call Reyes dad in hopes that one day he’d be just that to me: my dad. Today that prophetic Word has come to fruition. He’s my dad and I’m so proud of it I am literally singing it to the WORLD!

Praise JESUS! A prayer only my heart could admit to was answered!

Thank you for answering the prayers only my heart could sing.


Dear God,

Thank you for answer the prayers of my deepest heart. No matter what comes, I know you know me at the deepest level and ALL my heart’s desires are considered and are answered in your perfect way. Thank you for re-igniting my family’s passion for each other and keeping us in peaceful unity.

I love you Papa.

-Your lil lambs