A long time ago, in a land far far away from here (ok sure sure Smithfield) there was a girl who was known as Raquel.

She grew up in the school system, with a mom who was single until she wasn’t. She wasn’t shown affection by ANY male figure in her life. Her best friends were her mom and sister (when they weren’t at each other’s throats that is). She fought hard to be treated justly mostly at home but her guard was always up. Not a day went by that she wasn’t called a name, made fun of, taunted by peers and adults a like (inside and outside of the church’s walls). With no real male affection, she went around thinking it just wasn’t for her. She could do without it because honestly she had to. 

Fight or perish.

Stand TALL even when your heart is breaking (we don’t need them, F***love she doesn’t need it). Whatever, she’ll make her own love…

…35 years later

In a land not far from here ( ok ok Smithfield), the same girl known as Raquel has become a distinguished woman of her community. She became very involved in her local churches and local non profits sharing God’s love wherever she went. She had a wild past but her future now seemed so much brighter than it did. She had Jesus in her heart and she loved Him very much. 

But she still didn’t know what love was. 

She knew and felt God’s love so much she gave it away in truck loads full but she remained unmarried because every relationship she had failed. She tried abstinence and even taught purity classes on the subject of love but no matter what she did she was unsuccessful in this one ..tiny..whittle…area (little yah right). 

It wasn’t until she lost a crap ton of weight that she realized she equates LOVE as food. 

Food is LOVE.

It wasn’t until she had to forgive infidelity that Raquel realized she equates LOVE as sex.

Sex is LOVE

For Raquel, LOVE is food and sex. If she had those two things she was on cloud 10! If she did not, her love tank would be in the negative. She would feel completely unloved. 

God’s LOVE is patient and kind. God’s LOVE is pure and is not self-seeking as physical lust can be. Above all true LOVE never fails. So than why all the failed relationships?


Even though I KNEW God’s truth about sex in relationships I was getting angry about the pure path my dating partner and I had set forth.  You see, this partner I had to forgive a former infidelity and walking forward into a new path we agreed to follow what God wanted for us instead of creating our own path. So why was I so angry? I had to go to the source to find out. 

Me: God I have no idea what love is. I thought I did but I’m wrong. Please show me. 

God: Love is respect and admiration. 

Me: oh. *looks up respect and admiration on Google*

I had absolutely no clue but God is a gracious and merciful God. I’m now learning a deeper love that no penis can touch or is involved in. You’ll find no place where God links sex as love. No where will you find that laying with a woman meant love or even marrying her meant love. People married for many reasons and love could of been one of them but it wasn’t necessary as it seems to be in today’s world.  

The dating partner I have now is standing firm on God’s truth and each day I respect him more and more for it. He’s not only PROTECTING me from me but he’s PROTECTING my honor and any potential future we have. Even if we end up dating different people, we will know we have done right by each other, cleared the path for a true love, AND have the abundant blessings of our Lord no matter where we go. Why? Because we honored him with our behaviors, actions, and our bodies. For that , God is pleased which pleases and keeps my soul free.

Lastely (I promise) 

The first affection we are all given in life is food from our mother’s breasts which can explain some of our human tendencies to equate love and food. For me, the first affection from a male figure was sex. It wasn’t a warm cuddle or tender words before I drifted to sleep after a bed time story.  My experience with male affection was just sex and it has taken me so very long to understand why or that I even believed such a thing. I taught honor and worth and purity to teens!  How could I have this problem! Oh, but the Holy Sprit knew and has been working the truth out of me here lately. 

So MEN!! Search and capture your ladies heart NOT her vagina. Honestly, fake love (physical lust) only lasts the length of your…#boomBOOM!! In many other cases that’s not very long at all indeed!!